Friday Goodies Roundup!

Zen master Zinji once spoke that if you meet Buddha on the road, you must kill him. Clearly he wasn’t speaking literally here, his intention was explain the concept that reality as we know it as an impermenant image, what we know of the world around us can fluctuate, and that if we think we’ve arrived at the answer, and we accept that, we’re probably doomed from that point on.  I have an affinity for this message, because it subscribes to the idea that we should always strive for further knowledge, enlightenment, and inner peace.  Trudge through the times, good or bad, however shitty they may be, because something interesting may always show up on the other side, such as what I found online this week, after the jump.

  • Today’s feature image, “F*** Carving Pumpkins”.  [via Reddit]
  • My friends, the greatest invention to be invented since the first invention itself has been created, pissing off everyone at the FDA.  The Lucky Charms marshmallow-sifter.  [via The Awesomer]
  • has an impressive article about six songs that were composed with the intention to be complete jokes.  Beck is of course on the list somewhere as well, as well as my main man Neil Diamond.  [via Cracked]
  • At the rate Tim Burton produces material, I’m sure the following was something he farted out on to a cocktail napkin in between meetings for one thing or another.  “Hey!  Tim!” some people would shout, “Wanna design a float for this year’s Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade?!”  Sure, the frizzy-haired spectacle would respond before shipping them the napkin the following week.  [via The A.V. Club]

Look for Johnny Depp somewhere nearby, no doubt piloting this thing, dressed up by Burton again to look like another child-molester.

  • Drink everytime CBS says “Schweddy Balls”.  [via CBS]
  • Stare disapprovingly at all culture everywhere in this genuine Ron Swanson Halloween mask.  Comes with pompadour and “man’s mustache”.  [via Tauntr]
  • Japan has a floating spherical robot.  We are f***ing BONED.  You hear me?  BONED.  The bad, culture-wide kind.  [via Gizmodo]

  • “Hi, I’m Troy McClure, you might remember me from such things as…”  [via Icanhasinternets]
  • Everybody needs a hobby.  THIS guy knows what I’m talking about.  This world-record setter knows.  [via]

  • Speaking of sifters of things that could be a real pain in the ass despite all the fun they offered overall…LEGO SIFTER.  Also, drink every time the voiceover says “Box 4 Blox”  [via Wired]
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