On the one hand, I see Miss Chubs-a-lot with the sedentary lifestyle needs to admit she has a problem if she can’t even muster enough energy to not fall asleep in the local river mid-meal. On the other hand…I see the story of Bear and Fish.
They were old friends, having grown up in the countryside of Alaska, attending Alaska High together, and even being each other’s dorm roommates in college. Bear not only love his best friend, but loved his hometown as well, and opted to settle there upon graduation, while Fish sought to make regular excursions each year out of the forest into waters unknown; he wanted to see the world – returning to their mutual hometown on an annual basis. In the time since they had left college, Bear had become a professional long-distance forager, had settled down with a lovely companion whom specialized in seeking out bear dens for less fortunate bear families, and dreamt of starting a family. Little did Bear know that his constant excursions drove his wife into the arms of sin.
Bear’s wife had grown despondent with a man whom was never around. So she secretly sought solace with the couple’s long-term friend…FISH. Monthly visits of support turned into weekly visits, which turned into days even, until the weather grow cooler, the berries were all but completely collected, and Bear returned early in preparation of hibernation season, only to see his wife in river-bed with FISH. He roared. He screamed. He stood on his two hind legs and thundered with the ferocity of an Incredible Hulk on PCP until his wife fled, leaving only himself with a childhood friend.
He couldn’t face is wife anymore, imagining only the face of ecstasy that was no longer exclusively his, a wife whose mind was elsewhere. Fish, friend to Bear no more, whose tainted heart this furry and furious beast felt responsible for protecting the rest of the world from, was unsure what to do. Bear grabbed his former friend, and put his head into the river until his spastic body shook no more. “It’s all over friend, this ends here…now” he cooed softly as he sat down. Bear would later return to his den for the winter, contemplating how a new spring might bring him solace.
Actual Story:
A contestant for National Geographic’s 2011 photography contest describes the experience thusly:
On a recent photo trip to Alaska’s McNeil River, I spent four days observing and photographing Brown Bears. The bears routine became pretty obvious – they’d fish for a while until their bellies were full, then they’d wander off into the grass for a little nap. This ole gal never quite got that far – after snaring this salmon, she wandered into a shallow pool at the side of the river, cradled the fish under her arm, and promptly nodded off. It was really comical to see her just sitting there sound asleep.
Sure the bear looks tired, but man, he looks more uber-depressed than anything else. I mean…seriously.
[via Neatorama]
A Campaign of Shock and Awe 